There are two elderly ladies in my family who hold a special place in my heart, Elaine, who died of a stroke at the age of 78 and Catherine, who at the age of almost 84 has slowed down, but is still full of life. It was only recently though, that I realized how much these two have in common.
Their smiles were unique to each of them, but both of them sweet and endearing. Elaine’s smile was slightly crooked and Catherine’s curls up slightly on each side. Both of them having a twinkle in their eyes that made you wonder what they were up to and watching that twinkle go out in one and begin to fade in the other fills me with a sense of loss.
The gray around their faces became more prominent with each passing year and I loved to tease them both about it even though I have my own share of gray.
They both had a silly sense of humor, which explained the twinkling eyes, and Catherine occasionally still plays little tricks on me that I fall for every time, and then she walks around with a big “gotcha” smirk on her face.
They each had their share of struggles but grew in confidence and grace with each one. That confidence and grace began to fade in each of them and I saw uncertainty replace that confidence and turn to confusion and fear during the simplest tasks. Hesitation becoming the norm, especially at the bottom of the staircase and in getting out of bed.
Watching them eat becomes a test of patience, but seeing how much they enjoy their food, makes it bearable. Until the time you put their favorite food in front of them and they look at it with uncertainty and suspicion.
Talking to them requires increased volume and repeating yourself a few times and most often requires you to look them directly in the face. I try so hard to be patient and keep a smile on my face because I know it’s not their fault, its only age robbing them of their vitality.
All of these subtle changes start out harmless enough, but over time they become actions that break your heart. These actions taunt you and scream at you with the painful reality that your time with them is limited. I clearly know it’s true, as one of these ladies is already gone, so I find a way each day to deny the fact that soon the other will also be gone, which fills my heart with sadness and my eyes with tears.
These two elderly ladies have both made a big impact on my life and watching them grow old has been a life experience I will never forget. I have learned different lessons from each of them and have become a better person because of their presence in my life and I am forever grateful to them both.
Elaine is my mother and she’s been gone for almost five years now and I miss her each and every day. Catherine is our American Bull Dog and one of my best friends. She is almost twelve now, 84 in dog years, and the thought of losing her fills me with dread.
The biggest lesson I have learned from these two ladies is that when a beautiful soul comes into your life, it doesn’t matter if they are human or animal because a beautiful soul in any form is still a beautiful soul.